Choices
The Air Force is very serious about cracking down on drinking and driving.
To that end, everyone from the offender all the way up his chain of command is held to varying degrees of accountability.
As one departs the main gates of the different areas of our base there are signs noting how many days it has been since the last DUI and the squadron that individual was assigned to.
My young daughters have been blissfully unaware of the signs and their meaning for seven months.
That all changed yesterday as we were leaving the area where Reagan attends Brownies.
"Hey, mommy. What does that number 10 and those letters under it mean?"
My mind started racing. Do I explain it to them or do I change the subject?
One part of me said they were far too young to learn about DUIs, but in this particular instance, there was another lesson to be learned.
Both girls are starting to seriously test their boundaries. We are having many discussion about making choices and the consequences of those choices.
Sadly, there was a story beyond just the DUI story told by the numbers.
I made a left turn out of the gate to show them the makeshift memorial where this young girl's friends mourned the loss.
I explained to them that a serious of poor choices - from drinking and driving, to getting in a car with someone who was drinking and driving to not wearing seatbelts - that night led to a very sad mommy who will never again get to give her little girl a hug after school or kiss her goodnight.
We talked about how we have to make proper choices every day so something bad doesn't happen. I explained to them that while they are young their choices might not be so drastic, but they are important nonetheless.
And, then with wisdom (but not necessarily grammar) well beyond her seven years, Reagan said, "but if we make bad choices now, we will always make worser and worser choices and then ours could be that bad or even worse. We could be the person who made that mommy so sad."
As I fought back the tears, I marvelled that at least on one day with one particular lesson, in the words of my dad, "I done good."
To that end, everyone from the offender all the way up his chain of command is held to varying degrees of accountability.
As one departs the main gates of the different areas of our base there are signs noting how many days it has been since the last DUI and the squadron that individual was assigned to.
My young daughters have been blissfully unaware of the signs and their meaning for seven months.
That all changed yesterday as we were leaving the area where Reagan attends Brownies.
"Hey, mommy. What does that number 10 and those letters under it mean?"
My mind started racing. Do I explain it to them or do I change the subject?
One part of me said they were far too young to learn about DUIs, but in this particular instance, there was another lesson to be learned.
Both girls are starting to seriously test their boundaries. We are having many discussion about making choices and the consequences of those choices.
Sadly, there was a story beyond just the DUI story told by the numbers.
I made a left turn out of the gate to show them the makeshift memorial where this young girl's friends mourned the loss.
I explained to them that a serious of poor choices - from drinking and driving, to getting in a car with someone who was drinking and driving to not wearing seatbelts - that night led to a very sad mommy who will never again get to give her little girl a hug after school or kiss her goodnight.
We talked about how we have to make proper choices every day so something bad doesn't happen. I explained to them that while they are young their choices might not be so drastic, but they are important nonetheless.
And, then with wisdom (but not necessarily grammar) well beyond her seven years, Reagan said, "but if we make bad choices now, we will always make worser and worser choices and then ours could be that bad or even worse. We could be the person who made that mommy so sad."
As I fought back the tears, I marvelled that at least on one day with one particular lesson, in the words of my dad, "I done good."
I think the poorest choice made was you telling your kids that someone died. Kids that young don't need to worry that every choice they make could end up leaving them dead.
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I have to conccur. Life lessons should be age specific. There is too much bad stuff out there. Kids don't need to be exposed to it all all at once. I make sure my kids are watching a DVD or playing there Gameboys when we are going by bad stuff like billboards and stuff like that.
I think your heart was in the right place but you didn't take there ages into your thought process.
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I have to disagree with the previous comments. It appears to me that you have properly taken into account the young age of your children and addressed the situation in an age-appropriate manner. The problem these days is that parents think there is an age requirement to address certain life issues when the fact is that age varies with every child. Simply choosing to ignore a major life issue when a child brings it up, even in just a curious manner, is a failure as a parent. It's attitudes like this that lead to younger children doing drugs and being promiscuous; parents simply think their children aren't "old enough" to know about these things, let alone participate in them. It's important to start teaching consequences to actions at a young age when the actions aren't so life-altering or detrimental.
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Knowing your girls and you quite well, you done good my friend. Our families deal with life and death on a daily basis. The reality is what it is. You dealt with it perfectly for their age. We dealt with it the same a couple of years ago when we lost one of our own. Then again, Queen of Sheba was 2 when she first dealt with death so it's not a mystery to her.
Good job, momma...
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Crista and InTheAirForce had it right. You did fine. Children need to learn of the dangers in this world through the prism of their parents' experience, love and wisdom. You have taught them about choices and consequence all of their lives and this was a natural progression in this lesson.
Hats off to you for not shying away from this opportunity to answer their questions honestly and for not underestimating your children!
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To continue in the grammar theme - yes, you did done good.
I have a teenage son. In the last year he has lost two friends in a car accident (speeding) and one to suicide. We have always tried to talk openly about these things - awareness will always lessen the risk.
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